After narcissistic and codependent experiences and years of my healing journey, I realized why I had attracted the people in the first place. There were control issues, a lack of empathy and communication, anger issues, and they always put me down.  They never validated or complimented me. Some were abusive physically and emotionally. On the other hand, I had zero boundaries, low self-esteem, was naive. I was severely codependent.

 

I one hundred percent believed that I grew up in a healthy family until I found the Completion Process. I had totally forgotten that until I was nineteen years old, I grew up with a narcissistic and abusive grandfather who was my father’s father. To deal with this, I took on my father’s modeling of codependence. Subconsciously I learned that love was about being in codependent relationships with narcissistic people. I kept attracting narcissistic people in my relationships until I was consciously aware of these patterns.

 

I grew up with narcissistic and codependent men with no emotional connection. This dynamic became my definition of love, but how to love someone, how to express my emotion to others was not health because I was not able to feel intimacy with people. I had no model in my mind of what a healthy relationship should look like. I had not developed good or wise judgment in this area. You cannot do what you’ve never seen and cannot imagine.